I look down to my hands and I see a shrunken, shrivelled up heart struggling to beat. It’s my heart. Fear and panic consume me as I hold my own tiny life in my hands, and I feel it’s warmth between my fingers start to fade. This is a recurring nightmare that I have woken up to for years. I started experiencing symptoms of SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia) in elementary school…The arrhythmia got so bad that I did need those anxiety meds after all, just to cope with the stress it was causing me. It got to a point where my heart would skip a beat every few minutes of every day. With each pause I felt within my chest, a jolt of anxiety would flood over me as I worried it might be the last beat.

I’m happy to say that since Emily first started painting my portrait, I finally got the ablation surgery. They indeed found the area of heart tissue causing the arrhythmia and were able to freeze it. Now, after a couple months of recovery, the difference I feel in my chest is astounding. In fact, I’ve had trouble adjusting to this new feeling of “nothing-ness.” I had grown so accustomed to hearing the constant thump of my heart in the back of my mind. I hope to soon take for granted my faithfully steady heart and live unafraid to let it race.                      

-Taegan 

JOHNSON is a visual artist based in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Studio Art from the University of Saskatchewan (2020), where her studies focused on found-object sculpture and installation. Her multidisciplinary practice spans painting and tactile art forms, including ceramics, wood, and wearables. Emily’s recent work centers on the human face and figure, moving between realism and graphic stylization to explore how posture and expression inform identity and perception. In addition to her individual practice, she has illustrated a children’s book, participated in several international artist collaborations, and served as an adjudicator for the Saskatchewan Wearable Art Gala.