Rebecca Toderian

Drinking was both an escape and a refuge. It numbed my thoughts so I could avoid facing the shame I felt about myself, while briefly quieting the constant storm in my head. Believing that my self-worth depended on the acceptance of others, I was desperate for people to like me, yet terrified they might see the real me. I avoided accountability for my actions, whether I was sober or not. For years, I felt sad, lost, insecure, and confused. My monsters are addiction, depression, chaos, shame, and guilt…..

Thankfully, I am in a much better place today than I was nine years ago. I have found peace. I have learned to accept and love myself, the good, the bad, and everything in between. My heart is on my sleeve. I feel deeply, cry easily, and genuinely care for others. With an incredible family, amazing friends, and a strong support system .behind me, I have been truly blessed.

Rebecca Toderian is a multi-media artist, using digital media, paint and/or textiles to create pieces that focus on the lighter side of life. Currently, she is working at WildBrain Studios as a 3D modeler and texture artist on Ninjago – Dragons Rising.

“This piece is about resilience. It is about the quiet strength it takes to keep creating when your own mind tries to unravel you. And it is about hope. Even in the company of your darkest companions, you can choose to focus on beauty and forward motion.” -Rebecca